PHOTO BY DAVE ZERBE STUDIO
I’m engaged! Two little words I always imagined myself saying, yet even now, a month after the proposal, they still don’t feel real. After years of planning, coordinating, and overseeing countless weddings as the Director of Event Rentals at the Reading Public Museum, it is finally my turn to say “I do.” Thanks to my job, I do have a bit of an advantage over the typical bride, but let me tell you, no matter how much you THINK you know about weddings, nothing can fully prepare you when it comes to planning your own. Thank goodness I’m blessed to have an extremely supportive and helpful partner to share in the stress–my adoring fiancée (I can’t believe I just wrote that!), Tyler Shaak. If you’re about to embark on the wedding planning journey, I hope you’ll use this diary as a guide and refer to it when the times get tough. And trust me, they will. I’ve taken all the guess work out of the wedding equation–it’s my gift to you! Enjoy!
FEBRUARY
It’s official! The date and location have been chosen. The wedding festivities are set for Saturday, Dec. 1, 2012, with the ceremony to be at my family church, Schwarzwald Lutheran Church in Exeter Township, and reception to follow at the WCR Center for the Arts in downtown Reading. Tyler Shaak (also of Reading) and I wanted to take the first month to simply enjoy our engagement and personally share our exciting news with family and friends. That, and Tyler made me promise him that I would wait at least a few weeks before bombarding him with wedding decisions! What can I say? I’ve waited my whole life to plan my wedding...it’s hard to be patient! Choosing the date and location of the ceremony and reception are by far the most important part of the wedding planning process. It’s definitely a decision that takes some thought (and some research!), but one that should be made ASAP....certain venues can book over two years in advance. Scary, isn’t it?
11-12 months out: Discuss and prepare wedding budget, confirm caterer and DJ/music entertainment, begin to form guest list.
MARCH
This month was all about dresses. Once the date and venue are picked, the obvious next step is the dress. Am I right, ladies? Like every girl, I had been dreaming of my wedding gown since childhood–the lace, the train, a gorgeous veil. But, as the saying goes, it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind. Yes, the dress I chose is almost the exact opposite of the dress I had been admiring for years. Definitely make sure that you try on many different dress styles. What you think you like may turn out to be the wrong cut or shape for your body. I was so in love with the gown at the boutique that I didn’t want to take it off. It was a sure sign that I chose the right one! Bridesmaids dresses were next on my “to do” list. I chose a dress that worked well with the colors of my wedding (ivory and gold) but also one that I knew each of my girls would love. It’s difficult to pick a design that all your bridesmaids will adore, but try your hardest; you don’t want them to resent you as they walk down the aisle!
10 months out: Choose wedding party participants, contract photographer, take engagement photos.
APRIL
Our reception venue is a beautiful one, made even more beautiful by the freedom my event designer and I have to decorate the space. All the spring flowers of April made me think about what I might want to do to create the perfect atmosphere for the reception. My caterer and event designer, Maria DiCecco of Celebrated Occasions, gave me some wonderful ideas, showing me how to play up the colors and feel of the Christmas season, but still keeping the sophisticated and elegant look Tyler and I had envisioned. It’s never too early to think about decorations or the overall “theme” of your wedding. There’s nothing worse than scrambling at the last minute for just the right vase or the perfect color of ribbon. If you’re crafty, this part will be a cinch, but if you’re creatively challenged like me, then invest in some professional help to ensure that your decorations and tablescapes look more like a Martha Stewart masterpiece than a kindergartener’s art project.
9 months out: Make arrangements for honeymoon, confirm guest list, send “Save-the-Date” cards.
JULY
July was an exciting month for us; Tyler and I finally got our own place together! Our new apartment is completely gorgeous, but we quickly discovered out that all our “stuff” wasn’t anymore. After years of being on our own and using all of grandma’s old pots and pans and hand-me-down furniture, we decided it was time to act like grown-ups and acquire some more refined household items. So, as every bride knows, the obvious next step is the bridal registry! Tyler and I chose Macy’s, the most classic of American department stores. On our drive to the store, I was so excited to get “scanner happy” among the home goods of Kate Spade, Ralph Lauren and Vera Wang, but let me tell you–it was a lot more difficult than I thought! Take the time to openly discuss the items you need and how they’ll look in your home. Talk it through as a couple and pick items that you both admire, but that are functional in your living space. Don’t be one of those brides who still has her shower and wedding gifts in storage five years later!
6 months out: Start thinking about bridesmaid and groomsman gifts, shop with mom for her “Mother of the Bride” dress, buy shoes and other wedding day accessories.
AUGUST
Luckily, Tyler and I secured our wedding invitation designer about a month after getting engaged. Now, seven months later, it was simply a matter of getting back in touch with our printer and making the final arrangements. See Tyler, it really DOES help to start the planning early! Growing up, I was the type of girl who loved to get new notebooks and tablets for school and to buy fresh stationery to write letters to friends, so it’s only fitting that the invitations would be one of my favorite parts of wedding planning. Kristen and Amy of Peacock Designs & Paperie in Shillington make me feel like I’m back in the second grade again. Who knew a 27-year-old woman could get this giddy over reply cards and envelopes? In all seriousness, though, your invitations should really set the tone for your wedding and give your guests an idea of what to expect of your day. The ladies at Peacock were amazing and they made the invitation process a breeze; however, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with cutting costs and buying and printing the invites yourself. More power to you, DIY brides!
5 months out: Purchase or rent necessary reception items, i.e. guest book, card box or birdcage, etc.; schedule ceremony rehearsal; if traveling abroad for honeymoon, update or apply for a passport.
SEPTEMBER
I’m just going to put it out ther–I am severely obsessed with my engagement ring. Like, I literally haven’t stopped staring at it for the past eight months. I just can’t help it–I get completely lost in its sparkle and shine, and of course what the ring signifies: marrying the love of my life. I know it’s a total cliché, but diamonds really are a girl’s best friend! This is exactly why I couldn’t wait to make the drive to Murphy Jewelers in Hamburg to pick out our wedding bands. After trying on many different styles and shapes, Tyler chose a simple, classic gold band. He looks so handsome with it on! I was a bit more indecisive (per the usual!), but the sales ladies at Murphy’s couldn’t have been sweeter or more patient. I definitely recommend them! About an hour later, I ultimately decided upon a gold ring encrusted in diamonds. After all, who doesn’t need more friends?
3 months out: Start taking dance lessons, reserve tuxedos for groom and groomsmen, confirm arrival of bridesmaids' dresses and request alterations where needed.
OCTOBER
We’re coming into the home stretch now–only two months until the big day! Like every stressed-to-the-max girl I know, I decided to calm my nerves with a glass of wine and a good meal. Wedding diet starts tomorrow, promise. Maria DiCecco created an absolutely delicious menu for us to sample at our tasting dinner. Although any style of dinner can be fabulous, Tyler and I decided to have dinner stations at the reception instead of a sit-down dinner. We felt it was a better fit for our reception and guests. The menu and presentation of your dinner should be well thought out. Make sure it’s appropriate to your theme, time of year and venue. Picnic-style food won’t work in an elegant ballroom, and lobster tail and filet would probably look funny in a fire hall. But above all else, the food should be delicious! Besides the drinks and the dancing (and your beautiful dress, of course), the delectability of the dinner is one of the few things your guests will remember from the night. It’s worth the investment, so bon appétit!
2 months out: Send out thank you notes post-shower, plan welcome baskets or bags for out-of-town guests, apply for marriage license.
NOVEMBER
It’s amazing how incredibly busy the last month of planning can get! For the longest time, the calls, errands, emails and meetings move at a nice, slow and steady pace and then all of a sudden the craziness sets in. Tyler and I spent the majority of November doing a lot of follow up. We did our final walk though at our reception venue, met with our ceremony officiant, confirmed our playlists with our DJ, and had over-the-phone “check-ins” with all our other vendors and VIPs. Take my word for it–the final weeks before the wedding will be hectic (there’s no way around it!), but always remind yourself to find the joy in every bit of the planning…if for no other reason than absolutely NO ONE wants to deal with a bridezilla! Believe me, you don’t want to look back on your wedding planning experience and remember that you mouthed off to your florist, or talked back to your mom in times of pressure. Keep reassuring yourself that no matter what happens, it will get done and it will be fabulous. After all, it’s your wedding...how could it not be?!
1 month out: Print programs, place cards, and other wedding day stationery; arrange for final dress fitting, confirm guest count and share with all necessary vendors.
PARTING WORDS
Future brides beware: wedding planning is an emotional process. As much joy, happiness and excitement as you’ll feel, there will be just as much anxiety, tension and worry. But I promise you, when it all comes to an end, you will honestly say that it was one of the greatest times in your life. Personally, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Now there’s only one thing left to do...get married! Although I have many, many people to thank–so many individuals made my wedding planning so very easy–I must give special acknowledgement to Diane Hafer–my mom, my mentor, and my best friend–without whom my wedding simply wouldn’t have happened. Her guidance, understanding, and support (especially financial!) have meant the world to me, especially since we lost my dad to cancer only two months into my engagement. Can’t wait for you to walk me down the aisle, Mom! As I sign off, I ask you all to make me this one promise–have fun. You only get to do this once…I hope!
